Dealing With A Copy-cat Bride

Yea! You and your close friend is getting married around the same time. Awesome right? You can support each other and share any deals you found or are getting. What if your close friend doesn't feel the same way and is turning everything into a competition or worse copying all of your great wedding ideas? Before you strike back and turn your life and hers into a real life Bride Wars, breathe and take some time to read the following suggestions:

Make Your Wedding Super Personal
There are some things that just can't be copied. For example, you can borrow your mother or mother-in-law's vintage wedding gown or jewelry; Have your cousin write and perform a song at your wedding ceremony; invite the Mayor to your wedding because you know him/her personally. Your friend can copy your wedding theme, book the same venue, and hire the same vendors but these are things she doesn't even have a chance to copy.

Have a Friendly and Honest Chat
Invite her to have chat to talk about wedding stuff. Suggest things that you think would be absolutely wonderful for her wedding but wouldn't work for you. Overwhelm her with kindness and awesome wedding suggestions. Try to be genuinely happy for her engagement and wedding. You were friends before you both got engaged, it would be good to remain friends after the weddings.

Come To Terms That You Can't Fix The Situation
Despite your best efforts, your friend just doesn't get it and continues to copy every single aspect of your wedding. That's ok. You will have too much on your mind about your wedding, you can't waste precious brain power to worry about hers. She will have her wedding the way she wants as will you. Both weddings will go off exactly as planned and you will each remember your wedding differently. You can't copy memories.


Soroyalty

What To Do If Your Parents Are Not Excited About Your Engagement

After getting engaged, I'm guessing the first people you tell of your engagement are your parents. But what if they are not thrilled about your engagement or your groom? What do you do now?

1) Don't Be Too Bummed Out...Yet.
Ask your parents why they are not excited and ask them what are some of their concerns. Listen to them and hear the reasons even if it isn't what you want to hear at this time. If they have always had your back, it is likely they are still trying to protect you. They might be worried about your future, your groom, you are marrying too young,  marrying without resources, or entering into a potentially abusive relationship. Listen to what they have to say and decide for yourself whether or not there is any merit to their concerns.

2) Reassure Them Of Your Decision
Explain to your parents of your decision to marry this person as your life partner and try to reassure them you have no major concerns. Talk to them honestly (like you know your groom isn't perfect, but nobody is) and address their fears.

3) Decide For Yourself
If you decide that your parents are trying to control and prevent you from making this decision as an individual, it is time to make the decision for yourself and tell them clearly that you love them and want their support in your decision. If they can't be supportive, you may have to proceed without them.


bridalguide

Calendar Guest Book

Great ideas are always popping up! A calendar guest book is another great one. Your guests would find their birthday and sign the calendar! Added bonus is you will know everyone's birthday and won't miss another one again.

An alterative to this idea is to have a guest sign in address book. This will help with thank you cards and Christmas cards as the new Mr. and Mrs!


moncheribridals

What To Do If Your Vendors Hate Each Other

To find the wedding vendors you love and trust, you likely had to go through a lot of them. So many vendors that you probably think the local wedding industry is huge. However, it is smaller than you think. A lot of the vendors know each other and some unfortunately, hate each other. Now, it is very close to your wedding date and you just learned two of your vendors can't stand the sight of each other. What do you do now?

Here are our top three suggestions:

1. Don't try to fix it. You are not a mediator (or if you are, you are not working as a mediator,) you are a bride that hired these professionals. Expect and trust that they will put their differences aside for a day and be professional.

2. Keep them apart. Some vendors don't need to see each other at all because they are working at different times the day of the wedding. If they happen to be working around the same time and the same location, try your best to not have their working times overlap each other. For example, have your cake delivered earlier, so that he/she does not have to see the caterer.

3. Have backup vendors. If they are not professional and there is a need to let one of them go, you will have a backup person to call. If one of them decides they really can't stand a wedding vendor and quits your wedding, you will have a backup person to call.


Getty Images

 ~Monica Hui
Owner, Lead Planner and Designer
If you like our weekly ramblings, LIKE us on our Wishahmon page too! More goes on there!

Using Friends As Wedding Vendors

Recently, I was speaking to a friend who is a makeup artist. She told me she wasn't asked or even considered to be the makeup artist for her friend's wedding. I asked if she is upset and she said: "Not at all. Thank goodness I wasn't asked." Her reaction is probably the opposite of what I expected. This lead to me thinking what are the pros and cons of hiring your friends as wedding vendors:

Pro: You feel completely comfortable with them
Since you probably have known your friend 4EVER, you will be completely at ease with them. You won't feel anxious about working with them and know what they are like and what to expect. Your friend vendor is someone you can talk to and understand the wedding stress you are going through!

Con: It could strain your friendship
Because you feel completely comfortable with them. (Yes, it was a "pro" at first.) You might be expecting more from your friend than you would a regular vendor. Or you might be inclined to treat them as vendor rather than a friend. Either way, it is a very slim line to draw here.


marthastewartweddings

Pro: You'll likely get a deep discount
Most likely your friend will give you a deep discount because they are your friend, they will "gift" you the services as a wedding present (don't expect this), or they are looking to expand their portfolio.

Con: Your friend may not be up for the job
If your friend vendor is trying to build up their portfolio, they might not have a lot of experience yet. This isn't necessarily a bad thing but something to keep in mind. You can't be expecting them same service from your friend that is just starting out in their field and compare them to a vendor with over 10 years of experience.


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Pro: A good friend knows you best
A good friend will be honest and guide you in the right direction, according to your needs, hopes and vision. They know you the best and have your best interests at heart.

Con: It isn't as easy to express when you're not that into an idea
Because your friend vendor thinks they know you the best, they might not be totally open to hearing what you want. They might feel they are the professional with experience and knows you the best. You might really have to work at explaining what you want in a diplomatic way.

Con: Certain costs may be overlooked
If your friend isn't a professional wedding vendor, they might overlook certain costs. This might turn your deep discount upside down. Be careful!


brides

 ~Monica Hui
Owner, Lead Planner and Designer
If you like our weekly ramblings, LIKE us on our Wishahmon page too! More goes on there!

Your Bridesmaids HATE Their Dresses

Before you go full-on bridezilla telling them to suck it up because it is YOUR day and ONLY one freakin' day they have to wear the dress, breathe and take a step back.

Do all of your bridesmaids hate the same dress or just one of them? If all of them, are they usually rational people that speak honestly with you? If so, you will want to speak to them calmly about their dresses and see what it is that they don't like. It might be best to accommodate them slightly and see if modifications can be made to the hemlines, necklines, straps, etc. You will be surprised by how the little things can change the look of the dress and make your bridesmaids more comfortable.


yesdress.storenvy

If it is just one bridesmaid, talk to her separately and calmly. Ask her what she doesn't like about the dress. If it is because of personal body issues, try to accommodate her. She might not feel comfortable squeezing into a mermaid dress as a size 16 amongst the size 2 bridesmaids. Having a slightly different dress can still make your wedding pictures look cohesive. If it is because of personal style and taste, reassure her that you will wear WHATEVER she choses for you on her wedding day. Provide some hideous examples too. She will likely laugh and wear the dress you chose!


stylemepretty

While your wedding day is about you (and your fiancé), you want your bridesmaids to be happy and confident in their dresses. Because if they aren't, your wedding pictures are not going to look good. Yup, they have the power to ruin your wedding day and pictures.


weddingpartyapp

 ~Monica Hui
Owner, Lead Planner and Designer
If you like our weekly ramblings, LIKE us on our Wishahmon page too! More goes on there!

30 Steps to Plan Your Wedding in 30 Days

Recently, I was asked what is the least amount of time I had to plan a wedding from start to finish. I said three months. That particular bride asked if I would be able to plan an entire wedding in a month. I told her anything is possible. We just have to start crossing off things on our to do list (like yesterday) and continue to do so for the entire month. If you don't think it can be done, here are the steps as outlined in an article from The Knot.

1. Knock out the three big essentials: budget, guest list, and style.

2. Find and book a reception site, and set a date. 

3. Start a wedding website and set up a registry.

4. Send out invites.
5. Find a wedding dress.

6. Decide on a suit or tux for him.



7. Pick your bridal party and tell them what to wear. 

8. Create an outline of the other vendors you need to hire, and start inquiring about your date.

9. Book your photographer.

10. Book your videographer.

11. Book your cake baker (and caterer if it’s not apart of your reception contract).

12. Book your florist (and arrange for any rentals).

13. Book a hair and makeup artist.

14. Book your DJ or band.

15. Plan the ceremony with your officiant and outline the program.

16. Decide on your honeymoon. Book flights and hotel rooms.

17. Shop for wedding rings and order them. 

18. Plan the rehearsal dinner and invite your bridal party (email or call with info and put it on your wedding website).
19. Check in with your vendors and finalize plans with each of them.

20. Buy your veil, shoes and accessories -- and decide on your "something old, new, borrowed, and blue."

21. Get your final guest list count of who’s coming and assign them to your seating chart (if you’re having one). 

22. Work on day-of paper elements including the ceremony program, escort cards. 

23. Confirm all final payment amounts, delivery and location times with your vendors.

24. Buy gifts (or favors) for guests, bridal party, parents and each other. 

25. Shop and pack for the honeymoon.

26. Prepare your wedding toast or thank-yous to family and friends.

27. Create a day-of schedule and contact list for parents, bridal party and vendors.

28. Apply for your marriage license together. You usually can’t do this until a few days before the wedding anyway.

29. Put together an overnight bag for the wedding night.

30. Put final payments and cash tips for vendors in envelopes and give to a friend to distribute.

Get married!

While I generally agree to these guidelines, I also believe you can do some of these things out of order (with the exception of steps 1-8.) If you are planning a wedding in 30 days make sure you also ask your wedding party to help you. Delegate, delegate, delegate! You don't want to be (even more) burned out by your wedding day! Remember always have fun! Now, go get married!

Photography: Ashley Williams Photography

~Monica Hui
Owner, Lead Planner and Designer
If you like our weekly ramblings, LIKE us on our Wishahmon page too! More goes on there!

How To Have a Stress Free Wedding

Wedding planning is stressful. Duh. There are a million of tasks to do within a time frame and a hard deadline that cannot be extended. Here are some of our tips on how to have a stress free wedding. Kidding. These are just suggestions on how to reduce some stress and not drive you up the wall.

(Below are images from a Star Wars themed wedding. It is dedicated to my friends A + S, the biggest Star War fans I know.) 

Weighty Expectations
Love your body for what it is and buy a wedding gown that fits you now. Reduce stress by not having the expectation of losing 5, or 10 pounds before your wedding. If you lose it, great, it is a bonus. If you don't, meh, doesn't change a thing for you.



What's it Worth to You? 
Celebrity weddings are often used as inspiration for our own weddings but it comes at a price. Those weddings may not be a reflection of reality as they are able to pay for and get whatever they want. If you have learned "you cannot live without" a certain type of flower, be prepared to pay for your blooms to fly via Holland on their own private jet the nigh before because it is not in season where you are getting married.



Don't Be Bridezilla
Your bridesmaids are not actually your maids. Don't stress to make them look the same for pictures; assign tasks for each of them to do and follow up on them; and don't create drama amongst them by playing favorites. They should all be your favorites as you have chosen them to stand next to you on your wedding day.



Stick to Your Guest Count
If you want an intimate wedding of 90 people, stick to it. There can be a million of reasons you should invite your boss, neighbor, or distant out of country cousin. The only reason should be that you want them there and they would want to be there. It is an honor to be invited to a wedding. It shouldn't be a chore for anyone.



Following Every Rule
There are many traditions and etiquette guidelines. Follow them all and you will be doomed for failure and stress. Just do your best and do things your way. If  you don't write thank you notes to your guests for the presents they send you within the month, that is ok. Just make sure you do write them at your first available opportunity. Set aside a time from wedding planning to do tasks such as these.



Having the Perfect Wedding
This doesn't exist. The sooner you accept this, the more stressfree you will be when it comes to planning your wedding. Crap will happen but it will only affect you if you let it.


 Cacá Santoro Photography

~Monica Hui
Owner, Lead Planner and Designer
If you like our weekly ramblings, LIKE us on our Wishahmon page too! More goes on there!

How to Shop For Your Wedding Gown

Shopping for your wedding gown should be a fun experience but can quickly become overwhelming when dealing with all the different styles, textures, designers; budgets of gown, alterations, shipping fees; and opinions of the people that accompany you on this shopping trip. Here are some tips on how to shop for your wedding gown (fairly) stress-free.

~Monica Hui
Owner, Lead Planner and Designer
If you like our weekly ramblings, LIKE us on our Wishahmon page too! More goes on there!

Have a Price In Mind

If you know you’re not going to spend $15,000 on your dress, don’t waste time trying on a bunch of gowns out of your range. Know what your wedding gown budget is and determine whether this budget includes alterations, taxes, and accessories. All of this stuff may put a dent in your budget especially if you need the gown in a short period of time. Check out gowns close to your budget and then alter your expectations from there. You might learn the style you are looking for is not that expensive or you are willing to pay more for your dream gown.

Start Early

Brides are often shocked when they learn they need at least six to eight months to get your gown—and that’s if you’re really decisive. If you’re a picky shopper or don’t really know what you want, start looking eight to 10 months before your wedding. Give yourself plenty of time; if you put it off for too long, your selection of dresses could be limited or you might make a quick decision you may regret later. Once you’ve found your gown, give yourself some time for alterations too. It might take several fittings before your gown fits you perfectly.

Determine the Dress Code

You may need to consider religious restrictions when shopping for your gown. If your ceremony is in a house of worship, find out whether there are any attire guidelines you’re required to follow, such as covering your shoulders.

Figure Out What You Like

Take cues from your existing closet on what you like, what your style is, and what silhouette works with your body. From there, start looking at gowns that have a similar silhouette.

Let the Salon Make Recommendations

Although it is good to have an idea of what you like and what you think looks good on you, allow the salon to make recommendations to you. Even if you don't immediately love it, try it on, it can't hurt to keep an open mind.

Shop At the Right Time

This time relates to the salon and yourself. Shop earlier in the week when consultants are fresh and the salon is less busy. You want as much of your consultant's attention as possible. Also, shop when you are feeling good, healthy, and happy. You don't want to try on gowns when you are under the weather or after you just had a huge fight with your fiancee. Make this is positive and memorable experience for you.

Buy a Dress That Fits Now

Even if you’re planning on dropping 15 pounds before your wedding, your body type isn’t going to completely change. Besides, it’s a lot easier (not to mention less expensive) to take a gown in than to try and make a too-small dress work.

Bring Your Accessories

If you already have your bridal shoes and jewelry, bring them to your appointment. You want to make sure the gown you chose will work with these items. If you already know what undergarments you will be wearing, bring those too.

Trust Your Instincts

If you have to be reassured that the dress looks great on you, it’s probably not “the one.” If you can’t see yourself walking down the aisle in it, move on. When you find the right dress, you’ll know—you won’t want to put on anything else. Just trust your instincts.


 Martina Liana

How to Style Your Hair For a Wedding Veil

After your wedding gown, a veil is one of the most defining aspects of your bridal look. Historically a veil was worn to protect the bride from evil spirits; nowadays it is considered a traditional piece of accessory your mom wants you to wear. Veils have come a long way and comes in a variety of styles now. Because there are more options, it might make choosing a veil just as hard as choosing a wedding gown.

 Twigs & Honey via Etsy

When choosing a veil, consider how a veil will work with your dress, face shape, body shape, hairstyle and wedding location. Then consider the following tips: 

1) Think about how you want your hair to look before choosing the veil.
Think about whether you want your hair down, half up, or a full updo. Knowing this will greatly help in choosing a veil. After your hairstyle is set (get it, haha), you can then decide where you want your veil to sit on your head. It might be up at the top, middle of your head, or tucked underneath your updo. When you do a trial with your hairstylist for your wedding hair, you might want to bring your veil as well. He/she will be able to help you with the placement of your veil and ensures it stays in place.

 Johanna Johnson

2) Make sure it stays in place.
Perfect transition from the first point, your hairstylist should be able to help you with the placement of your veil and ensures it stays in place. Your hairstylist will have to consider the texture of your hair, weight of your hair, and your hair style/up do. They pretty much have the job of trying to solve a physics problem on your head.

Left- via Down the Aisle | Right- by/via Sibo Designs

3) Come up with a post-veil plan.
Most brides wear their veils only for the ceremony and remove it for pictures and the wedding reception. Have a plan on what you want your hair to look like after the veil is removed. You don't want a flat hairdo afterwards or worse a hairstyle that only looked wow because the veil was holding down every single frizz, static or flyaway. Bonus points if your hairstylist is able to suggest an easy way to transition your hair into another style quickly for the reception!

 Twigs & Honey via Etsy

~Monica Hui

Owner, Lead Planner and Designer
If you like our weekly ramblings, LIKE us on our Wishahmon page too! More goes on there!

Wedding DIY Dos

After sharing with readers our top DIY Don'ts and getting some defensive messages from some of our brides, we bring you our top DIY Dos. 

1) Wedding Stationary (Invitations, Programs, and Save-the-Dates)
You will be amazed by how much the cost of paper can add up. Add the cost of envelops and postage, you will be rethinking the possibility of sending out wedding ecards. (Resist and don't do it.) Being creative and putting together your own invitations is something you can easily do on your own months in advance to your wedding and over a long weekend (if you are really slow.) There are also tons of invitation DIY kits you can buy and put together. Word of caution, try to stick with conventional sized invitations and envelops. If not, you will be paying additional costs for postage. 



2) Your Makeup
If you do your own makeup, feel you do a good job with it, and get complements on it, then why not just do your own makeup? Kate Middleton did it for her own Royal Wedding. Additional plus is you'll be in the privacy of your home or hotel room, won't have to book an appointment (or worry about being on time), and can chill with your girls in the morning over some drinks! Just a friendly tip: if you plan on doing your makeup differently for your wedding, do a trial run and have a friend take a few pictures. Look at the pictures and see if you like your wedding look.





3) Ceremony Decor
For non-religious ceremonies, they usually last 30 minutes to an hour tops. This means, your guests will be enjoying the ceremony decor for a very short amount of time. This is an area you can save a bit of money by doing the decor yourself. By this I mean, designing the decor and getting someone else to set it up for you. If your venue is stunning already, opt for simple decor that you can reuse at your wedding reception. (Another cost saving option!) 

4) Wedding Favors
This is another DIY you can work on months in advance to your wedding. If you are giving away edible favors, maybe don't do it too far in advance.



5) Personal Touches
Definitely add your personal touches to your wedding. This is a huge DO in my mind. Personal touches are what makes a wedding truly yours. These are the items that your guests will remember.  









 Jacquelynn Henderson

Got any other items you feel should be included in this list? Send us a message and we will include in our next post! 

~Monica Hui
Owner, Lead Planner and Designer
If you like our weekly ramblings, LIKE us on our Wishahmon page too! More goes on there!

Wedding Don't DIY (Wedding Regrets)

I love doing DIYs and I think it shows through this blog. I have a can do attitude and most things I believe I can make myself and possible make it even better. (That is my ego talking/blogging, not me.) However, there are some things I always suggest to my clients to leave it to the professionals. Here are my top five things I believe are wedding DON'T DIY (or wedding regrets.)

1) Photos
Don't ask/or let your cousin Harry be your wedding photographer because he just bought a new camera/is interested in starting a wedding photography business and needs to build up his portfolio/ or he is willing to do it for free. Likely he won't be able to capture all the right moments, at the right angle, at the right time.

Don't just use disposable cameras for your wedding. Your guests will likely be taking stupid pictures of each other or of their food. You won't get pictures worthy of hanging or in an album. Maybe good ones for scrapbooking though.



2) Wedding Dress
Unless you are a designer by trade or the child of a master seamstress that inherited some dress making genes, I wouldn't tackle this project just because you bought a new sewing machine from Costco. Best to buy or even borrow one.



3) Food
A lot of my clients have some cooking skills but the reason why "food" is on the list is because you are not likely used to or have experience cooking for 100+ guests, or even 50+ guests. The food might not turn out poorly but will likely stress you out completely on a day when it should be relatively stress-free.



4) Flowers
Even if you are going for a freestyle handheld boho flower bouquet, it really won't look the same as a professional florist's version. You can take a course on flower arranging to boost your confidence, but it won't boost your skill set drastically.



5) Music
Years ago I learned you can rent all the DJ equipment needed for your wedding for a fraction of the price of hiring a DJ. I was intrigued when I was looking at a price list, then I was horrified by the questions I overheard from the people renting the items. Very few of them knew what they needed or how to operate it. While I believe almost anyone can play music, few amateurs will be able to create ambiance and a lively entertaining environment for your guests.



photography: Michele M. Waite 

What do you think of this Don't DIY list? Agree or disagree? Let me know what your thoughts are!

~Monica Hui
Owner, Lead Planner and Designer
If you like our weekly ramblings, LIKE us on our Wishahmon page too! More goes on there!