B. and I met on September 28, 2009 over an OK meal at the Highwood. One of B.’s friends, who at the time, was a food blogger, was trying to get together a monthly supper club with some of his personal friends and some food bloggers. I was the only food blogger who showed up at this first gathering. B. and I happened to be sitting next to each other, so we decided to try the Chateaubriand, to see what this “at-the-table” French service was all about.
The next day, I wrote an email to my friend, Chelsea, whom I’d been exchanging dating exploits with.
“[...] So anyway, the CUTEST guy was sitting next to me, of course I don't know if he's into me or if even he has a girlfriend but the feeling was like, ‘Yes! This is what it's like to have a crush on someone.’ lol.”
5 minutes later, another email:
“Successful Facebook stalkage! He is single. And 10 years older than me :(“
In the end, he added me on Facebook, and removing the year from my birthdate before I accepted the friend request was completely ineffective in concealing my age. Still, after months of Facebook messaging, Google chatting, music swapping, another group outing, talking obsessively about him to my girlfriends and coworkers and a failed attempt at me asking him out on a date, we went on our first date on November 7, 2009.
Our Engagement
I didn’t see the engagement coming. We both knew that we eventually wanted to get married, but I was always afraid that talking about marriage and weddings would imply that I wanted to get married right NOW, and I didn’t want that, nor did I want B. to feel pressured, so we never talked about it seriously.
In May/June of this year, we left on a three-and-a-half week trip to Asia. Our itinerary included six days in Seoul, 15 days in Japan and four days in Hong Kong.
While in Japan, we stayed in a popular onsen (hot springs) resort town called Hakone. B. managed to snag a room in this baller ryokan called Hakone Ginyu, which is usually booked up six months in advance, but fortunately for us, there was a last minute cancellation.
The ryokan was very beautiful - they were all done up in a traditional style, with tatami mats, a private dining room and a private onsen at the back. The service was professional but friendly; every single detail was accounted for.
B. and I were hanging out in our “backyard” when he started to say, “I love you.” Note that this is only the second time he has said “I love you” and not “I love you too”, so I knew something was up. He went on to say that while he knew things hadn’t been the greatest, he wanted me to be in his life. Then, he pulled out the ring from underneath a towel and asked him if I would marry him! I instantly burst into tears.
Unlike the movies or the YouTube engagement videos, I didn’t say “Yes” right away, because I was shocked and unprepared, but I also managed to not blurt out “I don’t know” either. The next two or three minutes - which probably felt like an eternity for B. - he just kissed me and hugged me while I cried my eyes out. Finally, I decided to abandon my life goal of marrying rich and whispered “Yes” twice very quietly, and he clearly did not hear me because finally he held me in front of him and asked, “So what are you thinking?”
“I already said yes twice!”
“Well say it again, cuz I didn’t hear you.”
“Yes, I will marry you, B!”
I still remember that huge smile he had on his face. He was so excited.
After our engagement, the first thing I did was WhatsApp my parents, who live in Hong Kong. After congratulating me, my mom says, “Oh, today is May 20 and 520 sounds like ‘I love you’ in Mandarin.”
I almost puked in my mouth.
Vincci Tsui is a food writer/lover/eater by day, and a raging bridezilla by night. She is marrying B. on July 25, 2015.
