My
husband and I have been married for almost one year. Whenever we look back at
our wedding photos, I always spot things that I would change. He on the other
hand, maintains it was the perfect day. Here
are some my tips for a minimal-stress planning process:
Flowers for the
bridal party – I would skip this even for myself. The only time the
girls and I used it was for the ceremony. The flowers were in a couple of
photos and that was it. I didn’t really like to carry it because I felt it covered
up the nice details of my dress.
Heels – if you
can’t walk in them to begin with, skip them. I stressed myself out looking for
the perfect pair of heels and in the end I didn’t wear them for that long. I
ended up wearing my sneakers for the whole night and it gave it a cute look
with the fancy dress.
Receiving line – We
decided we weren’t going to stand at the door to greet guest but instead we
walked around and mingled. It was nice to catch up with people during cocktail
hour but we missed out on taking photos with all of our guests. The receiving
line may seem tedious but it’s actually a nice setting to grab a photo and do
small talk with every guest as they come in.
List of important
‘must have’ photos – It was a crazy day and after we had all
our photos back, I realized I didn’t have photos with our wedding party with
their significant other. My husband and I didn’t have photos taken individually
with each of the wedding party members. I didn’t have a picture of us with my
dad. So take time to make a list of your ‘must have’ photos and give that list
to your photographer and a copy to your maid of honor or someone you can trust
to make sure each of those photo is captured. If
your photographer is with you for a fixed number of hours, work it out so that
they can capture your first dance. I had scheduled our first dance for later in
the evening but our DJ recommended we do it just as dinner was about done. At
first I thought that was weird but the pictures that came from that moment are
amongst my favorite captures.
Do a photobooth – we had
one and the photos turned out fantastic! We had a lot of family kids at the
wedding and they had a blast with. Even the older generation stepped out of
their shell and created some great memories.
Candy bar – we
didn’t have a lot of kids at our wedding but the candy booth was a huge hit
anyways. It was very inexpensive and it brought out the kid in all of our
guests.
Ask for help – I
didn’t want to bother my wedding party with the little things so I took on a
lot of it myself. I ended up being overwhelmed the week before the wedding.
Good thing for me, one of my younger cousins stepped up and helped me with all
the DIY tasks! We had a wedding decorator that took on a lot of the bigger
tasks which was really helpful. I had the ideas, I just didn’t know how to
execute it.
Be decisive – I
changed a lot of details as the wedding date approached. Some of the details
were changed because the original idea took to long to complete or we didn’t
have patience. I didn’t want to fight the week before the wedding so I gave in
to making some things simpler. It wasn’t a huge deal but now when I look back,
I wished I had been more firm with some my choices.
It’s okay to say
‘no’
– When I was planning the wedding, a lot of people told me that during this
time, the family can be very persuasive and overly involved in the process. You
have to realize you cannot make everyone happy. It is your day after all. I
knew I didn’t want the wedding to be over and have the feeling that it wasn’t
really our wedding. We were firm at the beginning with the amount of guests our
families were allowed to invite. We went with a much smaller venue so that it
couldn’t be compromised.
Asian traditions – Like
most Asian couples, we had to do a tea ceremony for our families. I would
highly recommend that if you can (meaning your parents are easy going or you
are really firm) do the tea ceremony on a separate day – like the weekend
before. We did ours on the same day. The girls and I had to wake up at 4am to
do hair and makeup so that we would be ready for a 9:30am ceremony. We were all
tired and running on coffee and a light breakfast. The morning just whizzed by
us and right after we were whisked off for photos with the photographer. I
don’t think our families would’ve minded if we did the tea ceremony on another
day. We just didn’t think to put it out there. It would’ve allowed us to have a
good amount of sleep and not be rushed through the photo sessions and most
importantly, lasted longer during the dancing part of the evening.
Water and snacks – keep a
cooler full of water in the all cars traveling with the bride and groom
especially for summer weddings. You are constantly on the move so keep yourself
hydrated. Have simple snacks like nuts and crackers for the wedding party. It’s
easy to eat and it won’t ruin your make up.
It’s better to not
have enough then to have leftovers – when we ordered the cupcakes for
our wedding, I was constantly worried that we wouldn’t have enough. In the end,
we had about half of the cupcakes left. In our case, it was an Asian wedding
done at a western place. We did a buffet reception. For the older generation,
it’s not common for them to self serve therefore, after dinner, they barely
left their seats. We had the cupcakes at the front of the room so they did not
help themselves to the dessert. We also didn’t have the staff walk around
passing it around. If you are thinking about doing cupcakes and you know your
guests are not ‘self-servers’ maybe think about having it passed out.
Simplicity – you
can keep yourself stress free if you keep things simple. Having simplicity in
your theme does not make your wedding any less grand. We focused our money and
our energy into areas that were most important (wedding attire, photography and
food). In other aspects, we had the mantra of “no one sees the little details
except you” so why spend so much energy on it? That mantra really helped us
stay grounded and it made our wedding all about us and not what was around us.
Note cards – we
didn’t have a guest book. Instead I had made cards the size of regular business
cards out of cardstock I bought for really cheap at Michael’s. I stamped our
names on it and had little flowers cut out. We had a table set up off to the
side between the entrance and the bar and our guests were able to write a
little note to us without feeling rushed. It was nice to read all the lovely
thoughts from our guests. Plus, the little kids enjoyed it so much we had
multiple cards from each of them filled with great pictures of the day so far- a
lovely surprise.
Schedule – make a
detailed schedule and pass it to the members of your wedding party and your
family. This way everyone will know the times of all the events throughout the
day. Have one person, like your maid of honor, be the time checker. My matron
of honor did an amazing job and our day went on smoothly.
Make your own rules – just
because it’s the ‘norm’ doesn’t mean it is right for you. Just because it is
tradition doesn’t mean it fits with your vision. Don’t let what mainstream
dictate is ‘right’ to alter your decisions. I didn’t do a traditional Asian
10-course dinner or do a change of outfits during the reception or do plated
dinners. But in the end, we were happy and that is what matters.
Though
I say there are things I would change, they’re not big enough to make me regret
any choices I made for the day. I would have to say, I did not have any stress
on the day of the wedding. I had so much fun with my family and friends. I
cherished the thought that every time I looked out to the crowd, I knew each
person and why they were there. I
hope these tips helped you.
