Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Wedding Graduates: Ngoc Anh and Thinh

My husband and I have been married for almost one year. Whenever we look back at our wedding photos, I always spot things that I would change. He on the other hand, maintains it was the perfect day. Here are some my tips for a minimal-stress planning process:

Flowers for the bridal party – I would skip this even for myself. The only time the girls and I used it was for the ceremony. The flowers were in a couple of photos and that was it. I didn’t really like to carry it because I felt it covered up the nice details of my dress. 

Heels – if you can’t walk in them to begin with, skip them. I stressed myself out looking for the perfect pair of heels and in the end I didn’t wear them for that long. I ended up wearing my sneakers for the whole night and it gave it a cute look with the fancy dress.

Receiving line – We decided we weren’t going to stand at the door to greet guest but instead we walked around and mingled. It was nice to catch up with people during cocktail hour but we missed out on taking photos with all of our guests. The receiving line may seem tedious but it’s actually a nice setting to grab a photo and do small talk with every guest as they come in. 

List of important ‘must have’ photos – It was a crazy day and after we had all our photos back, I realized I didn’t have photos with our wedding party with their significant other. My husband and I didn’t have photos taken individually with each of the wedding party members. I didn’t have a picture of us with my dad. So take time to make a list of your ‘must have’ photos and give that list to your photographer and a copy to your maid of honor or someone you can trust to make sure each of those photo is captured. If your photographer is with you for a fixed number of hours, work it out so that they can capture your first dance. I had scheduled our first dance for later in the evening but our DJ recommended we do it just as dinner was about done. At first I thought that was weird but the pictures that came from that moment are amongst my favorite captures. 

Do a photobooth – we had one and the photos turned out fantastic! We had a lot of family kids at the wedding and they had a blast with. Even the older generation stepped out of their shell and created some great memories. 

Candy bar – we didn’t have a lot of kids at our wedding but the candy booth was a huge hit anyways. It was very inexpensive and it brought out the kid in all of our guests.

Ask for help – I didn’t want to bother my wedding party with the little things so I took on a lot of it myself. I ended up being overwhelmed the week before the wedding. Good thing for me, one of my younger cousins stepped up and helped me with all the DIY tasks! We had a wedding decorator that took on a lot of the bigger tasks which was really helpful. I had the ideas, I just didn’t know how to execute it. 

Be decisive – I changed a lot of details as the wedding date approached. Some of the details were changed because the original idea took to long to complete or we didn’t have patience. I didn’t want to fight the week before the wedding so I gave in to making some things simpler. It wasn’t a huge deal but now when I look back, I wished I had been more firm with some my choices. 

It’s okay to say ‘no’ – When I was planning the wedding, a lot of people told me that during this time, the family can be very persuasive and overly involved in the process. You have to realize you cannot make everyone happy. It is your day after all. I knew I didn’t want the wedding to be over and have the feeling that it wasn’t really our wedding. We were firm at the beginning with the amount of guests our families were allowed to invite. We went with a much smaller venue so that it couldn’t be compromised. 

Asian traditions – Like most Asian couples, we had to do a tea ceremony for our families. I would highly recommend that if you can (meaning your parents are easy going or you are really firm) do the tea ceremony on a separate day – like the weekend before. We did ours on the same day. The girls and I had to wake up at 4am to do hair and makeup so that we would be ready for a 9:30am ceremony. We were all tired and running on coffee and a light breakfast. The morning just whizzed by us and right after we were whisked off for photos with the photographer. I don’t think our families would’ve minded if we did the tea ceremony on another day. We just didn’t think to put it out there. It would’ve allowed us to have a good amount of sleep and not be rushed through the photo sessions and most importantly, lasted longer during the dancing part of the evening. 

Water and snacks – keep a cooler full of water in the all cars traveling with the bride and groom especially for summer weddings. You are constantly on the move so keep yourself hydrated. Have simple snacks like nuts and crackers for the wedding party. It’s easy to eat and it won’t ruin your make up. 

It’s better to not have enough then to have leftovers – when we ordered the cupcakes for our wedding, I was constantly worried that we wouldn’t have enough. In the end, we had about half of the cupcakes left. In our case, it was an Asian wedding done at a western place. We did a buffet reception. For the older generation, it’s not common for them to self serve therefore, after dinner, they barely left their seats. We had the cupcakes at the front of the room so they did not help themselves to the dessert. We also didn’t have the staff walk around passing it around. If you are thinking about doing cupcakes and you know your guests are not ‘self-servers’ maybe think about having it passed out. 

Simplicity – you can keep yourself stress free if you keep things simple. Having simplicity in your theme does not make your wedding any less grand. We focused our money and our energy into areas that were most important (wedding attire, photography and food). In other aspects, we had the mantra of “no one sees the little details except you” so why spend so much energy on it? That mantra really helped us stay grounded and it made our wedding all about us and not what was around us. 

Note cards – we didn’t have a guest book. Instead I had made cards the size of regular business cards out of cardstock I bought for really cheap at Michael’s. I stamped our names on it and had little flowers cut out. We had a table set up off to the side between the entrance and the bar and our guests were able to write a little note to us without feeling rushed. It was nice to read all the lovely thoughts from our guests. Plus, the little kids enjoyed it so much we had multiple cards from each of them filled with great pictures of the day so far- a lovely surprise. 

Schedule – make a detailed schedule and pass it to the members of your wedding party and your family. This way everyone will know the times of all the events throughout the day. Have one person, like your maid of honor, be the time checker. My matron of honor did an amazing job and our day went on smoothly.

Make your own rules – just because it’s the ‘norm’ doesn’t mean it is right for you. Just because it is tradition doesn’t mean it fits with your vision. Don’t let what mainstream dictate is ‘right’ to alter your decisions. I didn’t do a traditional Asian 10-course dinner or do a change of outfits during the reception or do plated dinners. But in the end, we were happy and that is what matters. 

Though I say there are things I would change, they’re not big enough to make me regret any choices I made for the day. I would have to say, I did not have any stress on the day of the wedding. I had so much fun with my family and friends. I cherished the thought that every time I looked out to the crowd, I knew each person and why they were there. I hope these tips helped you.

~Ngoc Anh and Thinh





Photo Credits: Sarah Pukin Photography

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